Here’s a quick tip I noticed recently: if you’ve told Apple’s Mail program to quit, but it just won’t finish what it was doing, try this: disconnect the network.
If you are connected by wifi, turn off the airport in the menu bar or System Preferences panel. If you are connected by wire, unplug it.
When Mail notices that the network connection has changed, it will quit all those little processes that show in the activity viewer and finally quit. After that, reconnect the network.
Note that if you have a program running that requires being connected to the network, like file-servers that are mounted, or FileMaker Server connections, you need to disconnect those first or consider just waiting for Mail to finish up on its own.
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