Geeks vs. Nerds

Geeks vs. Nerds from XKCD.com

There’s been a lot of debate over the years about who is a Geek, and who is a Nerd.  As a self-professing Nerd, I thought I’d try to settle the debate.

As I’ve come to understand it over the years, there’s one key difference which can enable you to quickly figure out whether the awkward, shy, and un-athletic individual standing in front of you is a Geek or a Nerd.  It all boils down to focus.

See, Geeks are usually defined by a category.  Someone can be labelled as a Mac Geek or a Windows Geek, a Star Wars Geek, a Star Trek Geek, a Music Geek, an Xbox Geek, a Nintendo Geek.  They specialize.  To put it more bluntly, they obsess.  Start up a conversation with a Geek on almost any subject, and you’ll be lucky to get them to say a few quiet words.  Find their specialty, however, and you’ll find yourself unable to get a word in edgewise as they launch in an hour-long diatribe on all sides of the chosen topic.  They don’t plan out their speeches, they just spend so much time talking about it, reading about it, posting vigorously online about it, that their talking points are ingrained in their minds.  They don’t just live and breath that topic, they exist in that world alone.

A Nerd, on the other hand, is knowledgeable about more subjects than you ever knew existed.  They can speak at length at just about any subject, and often will, if they get the chance.  This power often goes to their head, causing them to look down on “normal” people, as if realizing that their superior intellect makes them incapable of dealing intelligently with the “lower forms of life”.  Beware of suggesting that they might be incorrect, as they will launch into a lengthy defense of their point and attack on yours, including discussing why you are unable to even begin to understand the subject at hand, let alone the many other subjects they are experts on.  The best response to a Nerd is a well-timed “Mhmm, that’s interesting…” and slipping away to talk to someone else as soon as possible.

Now, there is a great deal of cross-over in these categories.  Nerds may specialize in a subject or two, crossing them over into Geek territory.  Of course, this would also mean that some Geeks can be knowledgeable about many subjects, putting them into Nerd territory.  There are also a variety of levels to each, ranging from the cave-dwelling Basement Geek and the 30-year old Nerd still living with their parents, to the Weekend Geek who plays World of Warcraft from 7:30 Friday night until 8:00 Monday morning but lives like a normal human being Monday through Friday, and the suave, sophisticated Nerds who use their superior intellect to attract the more intelligent species of female and recites poetry at the drop of a pin (no pocket protectors on these Nerds).  Some of either variety can pass themselves off as being perfectly sane, while others look more like Quasimodo and can’t leave their parents basement without a hood and cape, along with large sunglasses.

If you find yourself identifying with one of these labels, perhaps it’s time to get some thick glasses and a pocket protector, and proudly claim the label you choose.  Or, if you prefer, run screaming to your favorite psychiatrist and pour out your dark secret from the depths of your soul.  It’s ok, cry a little if you must.  At least now you know.

And knowing… is half the battle.